Here we go again. Another game, another chapter in the tragicomedy that is Crystal Palace's 2025/26 finishing school. Or should I say, finishing anti-school? I mean, seriously, have you ever seen a team so allergic to the back of the net? We just handed Strasbourg a 2-1 defeat in the Conference League, but let's be honest, we defeated ourselves. We're not just missing chances; we're conducting a masterclass in how to squander absolute sitters. I'm Oliver Glasner, and after that performance, I feel like I need a stiff drink and a new striker, not necessarily in that order.

Let me paint you the picture. We were 1-0 up, cruising, creating chances for fun. Tyrick Mitchell, my left wing-back, pops up and slots one home like a seasoned number nine. Lovely stuff. Then the circus began. Ismaila Sarr? Misses an open goal. Adam Wharton? Yep, you guessed it, another open goal goes begging. Yeremy Pino? Finds himself with the whole goal to aim at from six yards out and decides the goalkeeper's chest is a more appealing target. I'm not making this up! We had 16 shots, an Expected Goals (xG) of over 2.0, and we come away with one goal from our defender. It's enough to make a grown manager weep into his tactics board.

You think this is a one-off? Oh, how I wish. This season, we are the undisputed champions of wastefulness. We have the glorious, unenviable title of having the biggest xG underperformance in the entire Premier League. That's a fancy stat for 'we should have scored six more goals than we actually have.' Six! That's the difference between mid-table comfort and a relegation scrap. We're leaving points on the pitch every other week because my forwards seem to think the goal is surrounded by some kind of invisible force field.

After the Strasbourg game, I told the press the honest truth. 'When you miss so many clear chances you don't deserve to win.' It's a simple football law. I've been around the block, managed in different countries, but I have to say, I've never seen a European match with so many golden opportunities tossed straight into the bin. Two empty nets! How is that even possible at this level? It's symbolic, really, that our goal came from a defender. The guys whose job it is to put the ball in the net? They were on a collective day off.

So, what's the plan? Well, first, we support the lads. They're trying, nobody misses on purpose (though sometimes I have my doubts...). We work on it, we encourage, we stay positive. But let's be real: encouragement only gets you so far. You can't coach pure, cold-blooded finishing instinct into someone if it's not there consistently. We've had games like this all season:

• The Liverpool win (a miracle we scored at all that day).

• The 0-0 draw with Brentford where we had 20 shots.

• The 1-1 with Fulham where we missed a penalty and two one-on-ones.

The list goes on. We can't always rely on our defence to keep a clean sheet to scrape a 1-0 win. That's not a sustainable strategy for a team with ambitions.

Therefore, the second part of the plan is non-negotiable. We have to go into the January transfer window and buy a proven attacker. Someone who wakes up in the morning dreaming of goals. Someone whose first touch is a shot on target. Someone who sees an open net and feels a primal urge to bulge it. Is that too much to ask? Our build-up play is often excellent—we get into the right areas, we create the chaos—but then it's like we hand the ball to a stranger wearing our shirt. The final pass, the final decision, the final shot... it all evaporates.

Look, I get it. Player development is a process. Maybe this profligacy is 'part of our journey,' as they say. But this particular defeat, this particular exhibition of missed sitters, I really wanted to avoid. It hurts. It hurts the fans, it hurts the players' confidence, and it hurts our standing in every competition. We played exactly how we wanted against Strasbourg. We pressed high, won the ball in dangerous areas, and then... nothing. A toddler with a foam football would have shown more composure.

So, to the Palace board, my message is clear: the cheque book needs to be ready in January. We need a finisher. A predator. A man who can turn our pretty approach play into tangible, precious points. Because if we keep going like this, we'll be the best 'nearly' team in Europe, and 'nearly' doesn't get you trophies, it doesn't get you into Europe again, and it certainly doesn't keep a manager sane. The search for a player who remembers what the goal is for starts now. Wish us luck, we're going to need it."